Family Ties

This entry will be short and simple. Take it for what it's worth to you.

Tonight, my mother guided me through making her amazing chicken pot pie. This afternoon, I rode with my father to pick my brother up from school. During the school year, my sister and I talk on almost a daily basis. We are far from the picture perfect family but we love each other.

This summer I had planned to be in Greensboro for summer school. Financial aid didn't come through. That was one of the best misfortunes to ever happen to me. At first I thought "I can't deal with being at home all summer." And I am probably going to think that all summer. But I realize that this time is what I need. I may never again have this opportunity. I am scheduled to graduate in May 2010. After that, it's off to the work force, most likely in the North Eastern region of the USA. Then it's time to get married, go to grad school, and have kids (with small intervals of time between each). Before I know it, I'll be alternating from holiday to holiday; one at my in-laws's, the next at my family's. And my siblings will be going through the same thing. Aside from family reunions and funerals (both are bound to come, sad to say for the latter), how often will my parents, my brother, sister, and I be together after this summer? So this summer, I'm going to spend as much time as I can with my family. I don’t care if I have to fund a trip to the beach out of my own pocket. We are going to enjoy each other’s company and I will cherish these memories forever.

Not taking my friends for granted at all (I have undeniable love for all of you), but none of you have been there since 1987. Deryle and Phyllis Daniels, Sr. held me in their proud arms on the night of December 3. Nor have any of you been there since 1989. Aja M. Daniels was there to watch me blow out her first birthday candle for her. And I can count those of you who have known me since 1991 on 1 hand. I have watched Philip A. Daniels grow from a chubby baby to an up-and-coming Aggie. So maybe I'm not in summer school at UNCG or on some resume-building internship in Manhattan, but today I learned the greatest lesson I could ever learn right when I needed to learn it – When it comes to family:

Endure the annoying times
Enjoy the awesome times
But love all the times.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?

Obamanation

I am so tired of everyone constantly telling me how racism can't still exist because of the fact that we have a black president. Yes, we have a black president. His name is Barack Obama. He has a "black name." He has a black wife. In 1896, he would have been seen as fully black because he is more than 1/16th black. He is a black man. He is president. But you know what? He didn't get 100% of the vote. Some of that 46% of voting Americans who voted for McCain voted for him because he isn't black. Some of the 2% who voted for one of the "other guys" voted for them because they aren't black. I don't believe that every white person in America is racist, but every person in America, Black, White, Latino, Asian, etc. has preconceived notions regarding other nationalities. And some people act upon those racial prejudices which are negative, thus making them racist. The fact that our president is black does not mean that everyone's attitudes toward race have changed for the better. If anything, some people have become more outwardly racist because how highly upset they are that a black man is president.

It is no longer socially acceptable to be a sheet-wearing, nigger-hanging, Hitler-hailing racist. Now they wear suits with shirts, ties, and cufflinks. They sit at corporate tables and decide how to market liquor in the black community or how many minorities can sit on the Supreme Court before it is super saturated. They focus on the punishment of prisoners instead of their rehabilitation. They are more powerful than any before because they have realized that this type of racism is less offensive and more effective than that of the past.

Just because Bill Clinton smoked marijuana, are all white people "potheads?" Just because Monica Lewinsky had sexual relations with Bill Clinton, does that make all white women home wreckers? So why do people think that because Barack Obama reached the highest (visible) level in the American political system all blacks are on the same level that he is. One of my closest friends was pulled over two nights ago for no reason other than the fact that he was a young black man in a nice new car. He was detained by the officer for an excessive amount of time, accused to having drugs, and forced to listen to racist comments only to be told that his license was suspended and that his mother would have to come and get him. The next day, he called the Department of Motor Vehicles and the officer "must have made a mistake" because my friend's license was indeed valid. Some people might say this could happen to anyone, which is true, but it happens a lot more often to a certain group of anyones. My friends' last name is not Obama. My last name is not Obama. Most black people are living without the benefits that have been afforded to the Obama family. For many of us, things have not and will not change. No, we're not dying at the hands of white supremacist groups, but we are living at the feet of an oppressive society.

And the worst part is that we continue to support a system that we take little to no part in. Who founded Nike? 2 old white men. Who buys the majority of Nike's shoes? Young black people. Who owns Black Entertainment Television? Viacom, which is controlled by Sumner Murray Redstone, an 86 year old White man. Our own images of who we are as a collective people is owned by white America, as it was before Barack and as it will be after his term(s). So until we are truly in control of how we are represented, we will always be defined by those in power. Until we have an equal hand in our own economic welfare, we will always be at the mercy of the dominating society. Notice that I said equal and not upper hand. I do believe in a handout, just in being on an equal playing field.

God bless America. God bless its citizens. God bless its president. But don't for one second believe that this country is not racist because one man was voted in at this nation's face for the next 4 to 8 years.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?

Tomorrow is Too Late

"See you tomorrow." "Call me tomorrow." "I'll tell him tomorrow." So often we take tomorrow for granted, but all tomorrow really is is a day that has the potential to exist for us, but no one is certain that they will live to see the next second.

And if tomorrow doesn't come, what do we do then? We go to bed mad at the ones we care about the most, not knowing whether or not both or either of us will wake up. We argue over the minutest things, just to come to the realization that it was not even as serious of an issue as it was made out to be.

Life is not just to be lived. We all have a purpose. My suggestion is for you to seriously sit down and think about yours. If you don't believe in praying to God or another being, at least meditate on what your purpose may be. For example, we have all been given gifts that are for the purpose of doing good. If you have been given the gift of writing, why not write something uplifting and inspirational? If you have been blessed financially, why not give to charitable causes. Our gifts are not for ourselves, but are purposed for much more. We are intended to give of ourselves unconditionally. Until we do that, we have not fully reached our purpose.

Those things which are for me later on in life (such as marriage, financial prosperity, etc.), I intend to experience at a time when it is meant to be. But those things that I can do today, like let my parents know that I appreciate them or let my friends know that I truly do care about them, I should do with sincerity on a regular basis. If not, we might never be able to do it again.

So often, I think "What if this is my last time talking to my best friend?" And that keeps me telling her that "I love her" even when we argue. Or I'll be mad at my parents and then an episode of Law and Order will come on where a kid has just become an orphan and I will apologize for being disrespectful. Sometimes it's ok to lose ground in an argument if that loss saves a memory. The last thing you want is to have a regret when someone unexpectedly passes away.
So take this as a reminder and know that tomorrow isn’t promised. But if you are blessed enough to have a tomorrow, go out and play basketball with your little brother or have a tea party with your little cousin. It’s only a little time out of your life that may give them a lifetime of memories.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?

Lemonade or Lemon aid?

"What do you do when life gives you lemons?" Hmmm... I would love to say "Make lemonade" but sometimes that just isn't feasible. Attitude plays a major role in life but sometimes that won't get you through the day.

This has been the worst year of my life in every aspect imaginable. I have lived through injuries, unimaginable economic struggles, joblessness, friend fatalities, bad grades, sub par spirituality, and regrettable romantic encounters only to say that I am still here and standing. If someone would have told me that I was going to deal with what I dealt with this past year, I would have told them that I can't. Now I must say that the word "can't" should not be in my vocabulary. I am beyond strong; I am real. I recognize my weaknesses and can rely on others (whom have earned my trust) to be there for me when I am not at my best. I cannot always smile, but having someone there who can distinguish my generic smile from my genuine one is irreplaceable.

Outside of immediate family, I have brothers whose love for my has been tested time and time again and still they have stood true. They know what I am going to do before I do it. When I go to the club, they know how many drinks it's going to be before I need to be reminded that my shirt is meant to stay on for the night. They know what my facial expressions look like when I have just argued with someone I care about. They know when I'm BSing when I say "Yeah, I did my homework." My brothers, though most of them do share the letters I wear on my heart, are not all members of my Greek-letter organization. Some have known me for 20 years, some for 2. But at the end of the day, when life has given me lemons, they've provided the aid.

It's not always a cookie-cutter relationship. Real love means that you can't always be nice. Real love means you have to be honest. When I am not living up to my potential, my brothers will tell me. When I am falling short of the high expectations which I have set for myself, they will be the first to let me know. I am far from a perfect man and that is why I need them. I love my lady friends who keep me in line as well, but there is nothing like having a brother to really let you know that you need to take an honest inventory of yourself and refocus.

The aid provided by my brothers in times of need is what really makes lemonade. Without them, life would just be bland.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?

King's Heart, Slave's Blood

This is an opinionated blog, generally to be written in what I'd like to categorize as a type of poetic prose, but today I was feeling poetic. Inspired by a story on CNN.com about the first black mayor of Philadelphia, MS, "King's Heart, Slave's Blood," is a poetic commentary on my view of the state of Black America today (yes, there can be one America and separate Americas simultaneously)


We used to get branded and now we buy brands
Black killed by whites, but now look at our hands
Red with the blood of our brothers and sisters
No more "yessuh massa" and "nosuh mister"
We are free but what did freedom bring
Self oppression more than anything
We are a strong people, so why did we quit
Why did we begin to believe that it wasn't worth it
To keep pushing, keep fighting? Equality's not here
And it won't be for another four hundred years
Martin passed. Thurgood is gone
We are still here and black is strong
Struggle we might, die we will
But I'd rather do both than ever to kill
My great grandmother by failing to fight
I refuse to fail. I'll pick up the plight
Of my ancestors, even if it's just me and my D.E.A.R. 6
Even if it's just me and D.E.A.R.'s 6
The battle must go on. The fight never ends
Because if it ends, what can we say then?
To our kids, do we say "Settle for coach?"
Never in the back of the bus. No I'd rather sit close
To the driver. Right there in the front seat
It was Jesus who died but Rosa got arrested for me
And you and you and your mama as well
For your kids and their kids, King sat in jail
And Nat committed murder and Fred D. spoke
So for our generation to give up seems like a joke
But ain't nothing funny. No I won't laugh
We were here before the English language. You do the math
Can you believe Philadelphia just had its first black mayor?
You're looking at the wrong Philly. Look way down there
In Mississippi, where the Klan runs wild
And this new black mayor remembers being scared as a child
Don't tell me because of an election that everything’s ok
It's not. Not at all. Not in any way
It's better, don't get me wrong
But don't be complacent. Don't just sing along
The land of the free and the home of the brave?
Built on the land of the Creek and the back of the slave
I love my nation and wouldn't live anywhere else
But I love it enough to make it better for myself
And my neighbor and my enemy to
Because you need me America just like I need you
I am the American Dream. I am patriot's relentless drive
I am the wounded air force pilot's purposed dive
I am the strong, dark base behind 50 stars
I am the innovation behind planes and cars
I am America. I have a Dream
The blood a slave pumps from the heart of a king

College Life: Constructively Competitive or Dreadfully Depressing?

How many times have you pulled an all-nighter to get that A+ because an A just wasn't good enough? How many organizations have you held a Pres., VP, or Sec. position in just so you could have a resume that "speaks volumes" and compliments your 3.9878892389238133892009999 grade point average? College is not just about school anymore. For hundreds of years, having a degree would guarantee you a great job. Now having a degree will guarantee that you have one more frame that you have to buy. Not to discredit anything that those who came before us did, but they just didn't have it has hard as we do. This day and age we have to keep up with daily technological advances, fashion, scholarship, organizations, our perception on the various social networks, traditional networking, not to mention the numerous personal issues that people might have (which are only increasing due to the current state of the economy). I have had an internship for 2 summers in a row and am taking this summer off, but am wondering "Have I done enough? Should I really be taking a break?" We drive ourselves into the ground for a society that can't come close to guaranteeing us a well-paying full-time job. We get on every on campus committee we can and try to get in touch with all the right people off campus in hopes of securing something resembling a secure job, but at the end of the day, I am realizing that nothing is guaranteed.

Even after realizing all of this, I bust my backside just to make things come together. I thrive under this pressure. I know that, when it's crunch time, I will hit the clutch shot. I can't lose. I can't let the stress get to me because if I do, I won't get a good job. If I don't get a good job, my kids won't have better opportunities than I have and my wife will struggle as my mother has. I have to be the best or at least work toward being the best. But some people let it get to them. As an RA, I have seen multiple students have nervous break downs as a result of the stress that college brings. College is the final frontier. After this, it's time for the real world: bills, a mortgage, credit, life insurance, a spouse, kids. Thinking about it is enough to make some people commit suicide. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of depression among college students, usually caused by untreated depression (www.suicide.org/college-student-suicide). A 2008 MSNBC headline reads "Half of College Students Consider Suicide" when only 15.3% of the nation as a whole does. That same article reads that 5% of students said they have attempted to commit suicide. So, out of every 20 people you walk by, 1 has tried to take his/her life. What does this say about the amount of pressure college puts on us? We are the future, but at the rate our generation is getting depressed, half of us will be burnt out long before we reach our potential.

As friends, we need to know our friends well enough to know when they are depressed. As humans, we need to reach out to those who don't have any friends. Too many of our future great minds are dying because no one cares. Everyone gets ridiculed for one reason or another. It's inevitable. From the nerd to the dumb jock, people get picked on. It's our friends who help us get through the bad and even come to laugh at those rough times. So be there for someone that you know. And I’ll raise you one; I challenge you get to know someone new so that you can be there for them. Sophomores, juniors, seniors, this fall find a freshman this fall and get to know him/her. Be a friend and a role model. Sacrifice some cash or DB or Ram Bucks or w/e extra money your meal plan has and treat someone to lunch. Go to an on campus activity and just hang out. Take them to church. Do something! But don't let someone that you know die because he/she feels no one cares. Let's stop being so far removed and instead be more hands on. Love life.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?

Prison: Rehabilitation or Punishment

Today, former Atlanta Falcons Quarterback and 3-time Pro Bowler Michael Vick was released from a federal prison in Kansas. In August 2007, Vick plead guilty to a dog fighting charge. He has served 21 months in prison and will serve 2 more on house arrest. During this time, he will work for a construction company for $10/hr (CNN.com).
What I have a problem with is the way America allowed the media to turn this trial, as they do with that of every other human of public stature, into a circus. And on top of that, the court played right into it. It is a slap in the face to force Michael Vick work in the construction industry, not because he's better than that, but because it is intended to do nothing but punish and humiliate him.
If the point of serving time is to rehabilitate people, why isn't there a mandatory system put in place to mold convicted criminals into contributing members of society? What motivation does one have to better himself when he knows that, no matter what he does, he will always be seen as a felon? The system is set up to bring people back to prison, not to keep them out. Over 50% of violent felons are repeat offenders (Bureau of Justice Statistics). If this is a known fact, as it has been for some time, why haven't programs been put into place to try to reduce the ratio? All of this money is being put into the prison system when, if more was put into rehab, we'd save money and people. Lifting weights doesn't build character. However workshops on being a better parent, business etiquette, money management, interview prep, etc do.
So why isn't the government doing everything in its power to make these people into better citizens? Because, like everything else in this capitalist society, prison is an industry. Wardens, guards, nurses, doctors, janitors, bus drivers, and cook are all employed by the prison system. Not to mention the cheap labor that incarcerated individuals provide. And let's not forget about the people who make those neon jumpsuits or many other outsourced companies that furnish prisons. Then you have the people at the top of it all who are paid to record and analyze all of the statistics that come from prisons. And those are the people who realize that it is not in the best economic interest of the nation to come up with a real solution because that will leave thousands of hard working productive citizens jobless. So, in other words, America is not going to work it's hardest give these people their freedom because other people deserve their livelihood more.
Michael Vick is one of the most fortunate prisoners alive. He and other celebrities don't feel the pressure to go back to a life of crime (though that doesn't stop Robert Downey Jr. time and time again). But for those convicted felons who can't get a job because they have a record, things aren't so easy. They can not live the American Dream. They do not have the options that the rest of us have because 1) they are shunned by an unforgiving society and 2) they have not had the training necessary to be successful. I'm not going to ask you to write your congressman or woman because you probably won't. But when you get in a position to hire a qualified person with a blemish on his/her record, all I ask is that you take a second look at giving this person a second chance because this new job might be his/her motivation to stay out this time.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?

Back at Home

Entry 0001

For many American college students, the words "home for the summer" hold a different meaning than they have in years past. Jobs which were held from one summer to another have been cut, parents aren't as quick to hand out that emergency $50 to go to the mall with, and finding a paid internship is becoming as rare as finding a $20 bill in the supermarket parking lot. This summer, college and high school students are fighting for positions at grocery stores and restaurants. And, surprisingly enough, high school students are winning because they can continue on in the position long after the season changes.

As a recently unemployed college student, I foresee myself sitting around for hours or even days on end. I have no way to constructively contribute and am on edge waiting for the last paycheck from my previously held position which I resigned from with hopes that the economy would bounce back in the fall and I would find a more fulfilling post either on or off campus. On top of that, I didn't apply to return to my internship because I intended to take summer courses at my school, but did not receive the financial aid necessary to follow through with that course of action. Now I'm wishing I hadn't made those decisions because I am in no position to earn or save. I usually work during the summer, save some, spend some, and, after all my bills are paid, I put my refund check money into savings. This year, I am unable to do any of that. The way things are looking right now, I will be going at least a month and a half without any sort of income, but that doesn't mean that my bills will stop coming. I have a credit card which is not getting used, but is accumulating interest. I have a smart phone which is necessary for me to make money, orchestrate organizations and programs which I am in charge of, network and stay in contact in case of emergencies. I have living expenses, such as food throughout the summer and housing a housing deposit to the university which has yet to be paid.

As of right now, my plans are to use this summer to strengthen myself spiritually, intellectually, and physically. Money is not everything, and since fiscal growth may not be in my cards right now, I must do the best I can with what I have right now. In the words of Charles Swindoll, "(t)he only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude." So, though my Facebook status might seem like I am complaining from time to time, or my smile might not be as bright as it could have been were I in a better financial situation, I am still going to try to see the bright side of things every single day. ~ D. Daniels, Jr.

Today is the day; how are you going to act?